I had spoken with my family last night and I am happy that I spoke with them. Things are kind of getting back to normal and I think that they will be fine after a few days. It is the intership that I want settled. Either I am going or I am not going - I dont like this indecisive state as I am not able to proceed with my life as usual.
Anyways, for those who might be reading this blog, the last post might have been too cryptic. Well, to clarify, I happened to meet a woman - in that itself, it is not too significant as I have been meeting too many. But the problem lies in the fact that she is exactly the kind of women I would chase or rather fall for heavily and be thrown out in the exact position I never want to be in. What is this with me? How come I happen to choose the exact kind of women all the time to fall for .... ???? Am I sick or something? I dont know ... the problem is I think that I have fallen for her and that too hard. I am praying that I get the internship and get the hell out of CS. I no longer have the courage it takes to be in love or rather I dont want to have the courage it takes. I am afraid that things will not be any different either. Why do I have to do all the stupid things again? Why do I have to get into those tight spots in life? Why can I not be away from things like these? When will I ever learn?
Anyways, for those who might be reading this blog, the last post might have been too cryptic. Well, to clarify, I happened to meet a woman - in that itself, it is not too significant as I have been meeting too many. But the problem lies in the fact that she is exactly the kind of women I would chase or rather fall for heavily and be thrown out in the exact position I never want to be in. What is this with me? How come I happen to choose the exact kind of women all the time to fall for .... ???? Am I sick or something? I dont know ... the problem is I think that I have fallen for her and that too hard. I am praying that I get the internship and get the hell out of CS. I no longer have the courage it takes to be in love or rather I dont want to have the courage it takes. I am afraid that things will not be any different either. Why do I have to do all the stupid things again? Why do I have to get into those tight spots in life? Why can I not be away from things like these? When will I ever learn?
To top this off, she is a namesake of someone from the past ... seems like a million years ago but it is hardly more than 5 years. I can already see how my future is going to be. I wish I have what it takes to make sure that things dont go the same way as in the past. God help me!
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